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	<title>LeAnne's Weblog</title>
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	<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com</link>
	<description>Things I'm Thinking About Lately</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:53:54 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>LeAnne's Weblog</title>
		<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com</link>
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		<item>
		<title>I know, I know..It has been way too long</title>
		<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/06/18/i-know-i-knowit-has-been-way-too-long/</link>
		<comments>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/06/18/i-know-i-knowit-has-been-way-too-long/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:53:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lizardsareneat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/?p=23</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Life is crazy right now. I shall update in bullet form again Ben officially graduated from Wayland Baptist University this month. He has been finished for quite some time now, but they only have two graduations a year. He is planning on starting his masters in the fall! My mom came into town a few [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=lizardsareneat.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2930119&amp;post=23&amp;subd=lizardsareneat&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Life is crazy right now. I shall update in bullet form again <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<ul>
<li>Ben officially graduated from Wayland Baptist University this month. He has been finished for quite some time now, but they only have two graduations a year. He is planning on starting his masters in the fall!</li>
<li>My mom came into town a few weeks ago and made all of our nursery bedding, curtains, accessories, etc. It looks amazing, and as soon as I finish the room I will post pictures <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </li>
<li>This past weekend was Adrienne&#8217;s wedding in Hobbs. I was a bridesmaid, and a very large one at that. It was ridiculously hot outside and my feet swelled to the size of Texas, but I had a great time! Adrienne looked beautiful and I got to hang out with Jillian and Toph too!</li>
<li>I have been teaching everyday from 10-4, and then from 7-9 at TTU. I am exhausted and my brain is mush, but today was my last day!!</li>
<li>My publishing work is going well, but it just takes up SO much time. Hopefully I will be finished soon.</li>
<li>Isaac is due in 3 weeks, which technically means that he could come anytime..eeks. I am so ready to see him, but I am getting anxious about all of the stuff that still has to be done before he gets here. It is really hard for me to get comfortable now-it hurts to sit and it hurts to stand. However, I can&#8217;t complain too much because <strong>nothing</strong> compares to being sick 24 hours a day for 5 and 1/2 months.</li>
<li>Clint and Kerry are moving. I am sad. Plus, she was supposed to raise my child for me <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </li>
</ul>
<p>I promise I will post pictures soon <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>moving</title>
		<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/04/29/moving/</link>
		<comments>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/04/29/moving/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:22:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lizardsareneat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/?p=22</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So we&#8217;re moving into a bigger house&#8230;and I am losing my mind trying to get ready. I actually don&#8217;t mind packing, but my body can&#8217;t handle the work right now. I pack one box and then I have to sit down for 30 minutes to recover!! It is pathetic actually. I want to do so [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=lizardsareneat.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2930119&amp;post=22&amp;subd=lizardsareneat&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So we&#8217;re moving into a bigger house&#8230;and I am losing my mind trying to get ready. I actually don&#8217;t mind packing, but my body can&#8217;t handle the work right now. I pack one box and then I have to sit down for 30 minutes to recover!! It is pathetic actually. I want to do so much more than I can, but Baby Lagasse demands I remain wimpy for the time being. Poor Ben&#8230;sigh&#8230;poor Ben.</p>
<p>In more exciting news&#8230;.we finally bought some furniture for the nursery. I am looking forward to working on baby&#8217;s room, and my mom is going to make the bedding and such for us. Mom is Mrs. Crafty&#8230;for real.. and I am fortunate to have her help. I don&#8217;t consider myself good at interior design, so let&#8217;s hope we can pull it off together <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>BAAAHHH</title>
		<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/04/23/baaahhh/</link>
		<comments>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/04/23/baaahhh/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:28:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lizardsareneat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[faith]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/?p=21</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am constantly reminded of how we as humans really are like sheep. We move in flocks, and what is popular to one becomes popular to the herd. When one moves, we all move, regardless of where we are going. I was thinking about this today as I saw a commercial endorsing Oprah&#8217;s new book [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=lizardsareneat.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2930119&amp;post=21&amp;subd=lizardsareneat&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am constantly reminded of how we as humans really are like sheep. We move in flocks, and what is popular to one becomes popular to the herd. When one moves, we all move, regardless of where we are going. I was thinking about this today as I saw a commercial endorsing Oprah&#8217;s new book club selection, <em>A New Earth. </em>I could spend hours writing about the heretical teachings found in this book, and I could spend hours writing about Oprah&#8217;s influence and the concerns I have for her faithful followers, BUT&#8230;I&#8217;m not going to, because my point is that we are like sheep.</p>
<p>At some point, we have to stop and acknowledge that we make decisions about what we listen to, read, watch on tv, and these decisions inevitably affect our thoughts, actions, beliefs, and values. I am amazed at how much my attitudes are affected by what I watch on tv. For example, I watch an episode of <em>Reba </em>(one of my fave shows), and I notice that I become a little more sarcastic with Ben. I watch <em>Everybody Loves Raymond </em>and I find that I relate to Deborah in my frustrations with family. Then I get annoyed and bitter at anything that doesn&#8217;t go my way. My point has nothing to do with the quality of these shows, rather my point is that I am like a sheep. I move when others move, and I am deeply affected by the things I put in my brain.</p>
<p>I guess this is why we are supposed to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. God knows we are like sheep, in fact He created us that way, but His concern is with who or what is shepherding us. If we allow things of the world (Oprah&#8217;s philosophies, tv, relativism, indifference, money, etc.) to move us, we are in great danger of getting too far away from His voice to hear Him when He calls.</p>
<p>My prayer for myself and for the world is that we will desire to move when HE moves&#8230;that our thoughts, beliefs, and actions will be aligned with the character and nature of the GOOD shepherd. I have no problem being a sheep, I just want to be one of His sheep.</p>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">lizardsareneat</media:title>
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		<title>Well friends&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/well-friends/</link>
		<comments>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/well-friends/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 30 Mar 2008 22:36:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lizardsareneat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[pregnancy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/?p=19</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I figured I should update everyone on things in the Lagasse family. I will do this in bullet form, if you don&#8217;t mind *I am awaiting results from my gestational diabetes test. Unfortunately I flunked my screening, which meant that I had to take the 3 hour lab route. I had to fast, drink some [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=lizardsareneat.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2930119&amp;post=19&amp;subd=lizardsareneat&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I figured I should update everyone on things in the Lagasse family. I will do this in bullet form, if you don&#8217;t mind <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>*I am awaiting results from my gestational diabetes test. Unfortunately I flunked my screening, which meant that I had to take the 3 hour lab route. I had to fast, drink some nasty glucola (again!), and serve as human pin cushion for 3 hours at the hospital lab. I really hope I am in the clear, but this definitely runs in my family, so we shall see.</p>
<p>*Other than this, I am feeling TONS better these days. The best part is that I feel like myself again. For a while I was unable to do much but lay on the couch or on the bathroom floor, so things are looking up!! Baby Lagasse is growing and very feisty. He keeps me up at night with his circus tricks. Now more than ever, I do not understand how someone can deny the existence of God. The reproductive process is nothing short of a miracle and it makes no sense whatsoever apart from the character and nature of Christ. Being a part of His creation is an honor and a HUGE responsibility.</p>
<div>*Ben and I are moving into a 3-bedroom house in May. We really like our place now, but it only has two bedrooms, and we really want to have a place for guests to sleep! The house is on 14th street, and the best news is that it is stalkishly close to Clint and Kerry.  We are pretty excited about getting settled in, but not so excited about the actual moving process.</div>
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<div>*Just like my students, I am having a hard time recovering from Spring Break. I am seriously lacking the motivation to do anything work related. It is funny how they give us Spring Break so we can rest&#8230;.and we all come back more zombie-like than when we left.</div>
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<div>*God is teaching me so much about Himself right now. I have been trying to focus on putting other people first in all my decisions, and it is such a humbling process. I find that almost everything I do revolves around MY wants, MY needs, MY opinions, etc. Not only is this selfish and relationally destructive; it contradicts everything that scripture teaches!! Sooo I decided to take it one decision at a time, and while I still flunk miserably about 95% of the time, I am learning that this process is about dying to self over and over again. True, I have heard this my whole life, but it means so much more to me now than it ever has.  Friends, I will try and put you first, because I love you, and because I&#8217;m not that cool anyway.</div>
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<div>*I am almost 26 weeks pregnant-14 more to go</div>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Lagasse wedding extravaganza!!</title>
		<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/lagasse-wedding-extravaganza/</link>
		<comments>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/03/18/lagasse-wedding-extravaganza/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:15:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lizardsareneat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/?p=8</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ben and I just got back from Chris and Sondra&#8217;s wedding. Everything was beautiful and it was so wonderful to see all of Ben&#8217;s family in one place. I am posting some of my favorite pictures for you to enjoy! This is Joni, me, and Lynda at rehearsal dinner. The restaurant was on the river [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=lizardsareneat.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2930119&amp;post=8&amp;subd=lizardsareneat&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ben and I just got back from Chris and Sondra&#8217;s wedding. Everything was beautiful and it was so wonderful to see all of Ben&#8217;s family in one place. I am posting some of my favorite pictures for you to enjoy!</p>
<p><a href="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/jonileannelynda.jpg" title="Direct link to file"><img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/jonileannelynda.jpg?w=486&#038;h=368" alt="jonileannelynda.jpg" height="368" width="486" /> </a></p>
<p>This is Joni, me, and Lynda at rehearsal dinner. The restaurant was on the river in San Marcos and it was beautiful!</p>
<p><a href="void(0)" id="file-link-9" title="Sondra and me at rehearsal dinner" class="file-link image">  			<img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/sondraleanne.jpg?w=479&#038;h=362" alt="Sondra and me at rehearsal dinner" height="362" width="479" /></a></p>
<p>SONDRA!!</p>
<p><a href="void(0)" id="file-link-10" title="lyndalouben.jpg" class="file-link image">  			<img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/lyndalouben.jpg?w=485&#038;h=367" height="367" width="485" /></a></p>
<p>Ben with his mom and Lou</p>
<p><a href="void(0)" id="file-link-12" title="grandmaschris.jpg" class="file-link image">  			<img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/grandmaschris.jpg?w=485&#038;h=367" height="367" width="485" /></a></p>
<p>Chris with both Grandmas</p>
<p><a href="void(0)" id="file-link-17" title="sondraleanne2.jpg" class="file-link image">  			<img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/sondraleanne2.jpg?w=490&#038;h=646" height="646" width="490" /></a></p>
<p>Ok&#8230;so ignore my flip-flops. I didn&#8217;t wear these during the ceremony, but my feet were KILLING me when it was over..so I changed <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' />  Sondra looked gorgeous, as always!</p>
<p><a href="void(0)" id="file-link-15" title="lyndabenleanne.jpg" class="file-link image">  			<img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/lyndabenleanne.jpg?w=491&#038;h=648" height="648" width="491" /></a></p>
<p>Ben and I with Lynda. Yup&#8230;that is a tent I am wearing in case you were wondering.</p>
<p><a href="void(0)" id="file-link-13" title="firstdance.jpg" class="file-link image">  			<img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/firstdance.jpg?w=494&#038;h=374" height="374" width="494" /></a></p>
<p>This is during their first dance&#8230;I cried</p>
<p><a href="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/errolshirley.jpg" title="Direct link to file"><img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/errolshirley.jpg?w=512&#038;h=388" alt="errolshirley.jpg" height="388" width="512" /></a></p>
<p>These are Ben&#8217;s paternal grandparents Errol and Shirley&#8230;mind you they are in their 80&#8242;s.  They were the longest married couple (62 years) at the wedding and they danced while everyone cheered&#8230;at the end they kissed each other and walked off holding hands&#8230;I cried again</p>
<p><a href="void(0)" id="file-link-16" title="thelips.jpg" class="file-link image">  			<img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/thelips.jpg?w=513&#038;h=388" height="388" width="513" /></a></p>
<p>It wouldn&#8217;t be a special occasion without  a picture of the lips!!!</p>
<p>Congrats Chris and Sondra!! We love you!!</p>
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			<media:title type="html">Sondra and me at rehearsal dinner</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">errolshirley.jpg</media:title>
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		<title>Finances :)</title>
		<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/03/03/finances/</link>
		<comments>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/03/03/finances/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Mar 2008 22:37:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lizardsareneat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[For me, it is sooo hard to trust God with finances. I, in my controlling nature, want to keep this part of my life to myself most times. I guess this is why Jesus had so much to say about money Anyway, it is a struggle that I have to work on everyday. I remember [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=lizardsareneat.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2930119&amp;post=7&amp;subd=lizardsareneat&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>For me, it is sooo hard to trust God with finances. I, in my controlling nature, want to keep this part of my life to myself most times. I guess this is why Jesus had so much to say about money <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' />  Anyway, it is a struggle that I have to work on everyday. I remember when I came to college and started feeling conviction about tithing. I KNEW God was calling me to it (as he does every believer), but I didn&#8217;t want to do it. In fact, I couldn&#8217;t imagine how I would possibly make it if I &#8220;had&#8221; to &#8220;give up&#8221; a chunk of my income to the church. I put these things in quotations because I now realize how ridiculous these feelings were, but nonetheless, I felt that way at the time. Well, once I started walking in obedience, I found that I made it just fine without that money. Then, strangely, I started to look forward to tithing. Then, I started viewing it as an act of worship, and now I can&#8217;t imagine going back to a life where I didn&#8217;t GET TO serve the church this way. One day I got a statement from the church letting me know how much I had given over the course of a year and I about fainted looking at the number! This was not because I was impressed with my contributions, or because I regretted giving it. Rather, I was sooo humbled that I ever doubted God&#8217;s provision. I was more than ok without that money, and it was such a blessing to know that God was using it to further His kingdom!</p>
<p>That being said, I still have issues with finances. You know me. Recently I was humbled in a huge way..again. God re-teaches me in new circumstances, and I am grateful for that.</p>
<p>With Baby Lagasse due in July, Ben and I decided that I will teach during June, but not July. This will be great for my recovery and such, but it isn&#8217;t so great for our monthly income. Either way, we believe this is what is best for our family, and we had to trust that God would provide for us. Well&#8230;</p>
<p>I got an email from Dr. Stewart a few days ago (he is one of my graduate professors and the co-author of the Public Speaking textbook TTU uses) and he informed me that the publishing company that prints the textbook was looking for someone to author web content for the newest edition of the book coming out in September of this year. This sounded like something I would enjoy doing, so I jumped at the opportunity. The awesome thing is that it will pay MORE than what I would make in July if I were teaching, but I get to work on everything from home before the baby comes!! But wait&#8230;there&#8217;s more! The publisher contacted me again today and asked if I would consider revising the instructor&#8217;s resource manual for the new edition. This is a much bigger project, but it is well worth the time and effort, so I accepted <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' />  I will also be paid for this contract job!</p>
<p>Moral of the story is this: God is so faithful! He asks us to be obedient to His purposes and this requires some scary decisions at times. Ben and I were concerned about how the money would surface, but God knows where we are at, and He knows exactly how much money we will need during this transitional time in our lives. I don&#8217;t say any of this to toot my own horn, but to testify of His provision. Trust Him with your money-He is worthy <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>It&#8217;s a Boy!!</title>
		<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/its-a-boy/</link>
		<comments>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/its-a-boy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:05:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lizardsareneat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[pregnancy]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Well&#8230;I was wrong. I am so very excited to be having a boy, but kinda annoyed that Ben was right. Of course it didn&#8217;t help that he pumped his fist in the air and said, &#8220;I have been vindicated,&#8221; as soon as the tech told us it was a boy. Now on to the naming [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=lizardsareneat.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2930119&amp;post=4&amp;subd=lizardsareneat&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://lizardsareneat.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/imaboy.jpg?w=800&#038;h=600" height="600" width="800" /></p>
<p>Well&#8230;I was wrong. I am so very excited to be having a boy, but kinda annoyed that Ben was right. Of course it didn&#8217;t help that he pumped his fist in the air and said, &#8220;I have been vindicated,&#8221; as soon as the tech told us it was a boy. Now on to the naming of Baby Lagasse</p>
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		<title>Hmm?</title>
		<link>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/hmm/</link>
		<comments>http://lizardsareneat.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/hmm/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Feb 2008 23:52:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>lizardsareneat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[pregnancy]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Ok so I have a blog now. This kinda takes me back to the Xanga days. Anyway, I figure I will give it a shot. Ben has a blog, but he uses it for ministry resources, so I imagine we can use this one to keep everyone up to date on our everyday lives. In [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=lizardsareneat.wordpress.com&amp;blog=2930119&amp;post=3&amp;subd=lizardsareneat&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ok so I have a blog now. This kinda takes me back to the Xanga days. Anyway, I figure I will give it a shot. Ben has a blog, but he uses it for ministry resources, so I imagine we can use this one to keep everyone up to date on our everyday lives.</p>
<p>In case you didn&#8217;t know&#8230;..We are having a baby!! We found out at the beginning of November and kept it a secret until Christmas when we told our families. Well, Clint &amp; Kerry knew because duh..it&#8217;s Clint and Kerry&#8230; and Courtney and Karen knew because I was tired of pretending that I felt normal around them. We are due on July 10th and we can&#8217;t wait!!!</p>
<p>I have to admit that this has been a really rough time for me physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. I shall explain.</p>
<p>Physically, emotionally, and psychologically: Simple&#8230;I am sick all the time, and I have been for about 3 months now. I have to eat every two hours or it gets worse. I lost about 7 pounds at first because I couldn&#8217;t keep anything down!! This has affected me emotionally and psychologically because I am not used to being unable to take care of myself. I am by nature an over-achiever, a goal-setter, and milestone driven. For the past three months, I haven&#8217;t been myself. My house is a wreck, I have no energy, and I can&#8217;t do simple things I have always been able to do. Moving on..no one likes to hear whining <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>I do have to stop and say this&#8230;I have fallen in love with Ben more and more during this tough time. He has been more than amazing. He has taken care of me and I honestly believe that no one else would have the patience to put up with me like he does. He is so busy, with a full-time job, full-time school, and a full-time practically worthless wife <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' />  I am blown away that God would allow me to marry him. I definitely don&#8217;t deserve him. The same goes for my amazing friends and family. Kerry has been so great to me and I don&#8217;t know what I would do without her. Courtney and Karen have also been wonderful. Sigh&#8230;thanks guys.</p>
<p>Spiritually: Because of how I have been feeling physically, I have been feeling that God has withdrawn from me during this time. I have spent so much time praying to feel closer to Him again, to be able to let go of my anger, pride and bitterness. I have really struggled in our relationship, because He feels so far away from me right now. BUT&#8230;I had an epiphany the other day about this. I was talking out my feelings with Ben, and the Lord spoke to me in an amazing way. This is one of those times when you KNOW truth has been revealed. The beautiful thing is that, while I feel far away from God, He has never been more present in my life and in my body. Scripture says that He knits us together in the womb. THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN MY BODY!!! God has not left me during this time. Rather, He is creating life inside of me-a baby that is part Ben, part me, and has a soul that will exist for all eternity!! I felt very humbled by this, and I had to repent of my unbelief. God has promised not to forsake me&#8230;that includes during pregnancy. Just because He &#8220;feels&#8221; far away doesn&#8217;t mean He is far away. This pregnancy is another way for me to serve Him. The truth is that my body is not my own. God is using it right now to do something amazing and beautiful. This has very little to do with me and my &#8220;wellness.&#8221; This is about God and His purposes. I am not saying that I don&#8217;t struggle with this anymore, but this truth has made the struggle much easier to fight.</p>
<p>So there it is! This has been a real growing time for me, and I am thankful for it! I know that pregnancy is not to be taken for granted. I can&#8217;t wait to tell this baby how much I learned while he/she was being knit together <img src='http://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>Speaking of he/she&#8230;we are going to find out on February 21st!! I really think it is a girl. I don&#8217;t know why, and I don&#8217;t have a preference either way. My gut tells me girl, but my husband tells me boy!! We shall see soon enough!</p>
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